ashwebgirl

December 10, 2012

The trees are up, the streets are lined with thousands of twinkle lights, parties are nearly every night of the week, Christmas outfits are being purchased, the town is packed every day with Christmas shoppers, carol services are in full swing, and Christmas dinners are already being consumed.

Dublin at Christmas time is magical, and I have felt so blessed to have the opportunity to experience Christmas in another country with its people, different traditions and customs!

It’s been fascinating and wonderful to spend this time of the year with my Irish family.  I’ve been coming to Ireland for years, but it’s the first time I’ve spent the holidays here, and I love the buzz of the city and the excitement that surrounds the mission and those I serve with.  I spent the morning collecting food to hand out to the homeless, and my co-workers have been working hard on preparing for carol services and making sure our families are well cared for for Christmas.

The love of God within Dublin Christian Mission is wonderful.  I love the people I ‘work’ with and for and it’s amazing how passionate each one is see the light and love of Jesus spread across this city.

After just returning from a weekend away with 9 teenage girls, I can say the work I do is tiring, oftentimes challenging and yet not always rewarding due to the simple fact you ‘see’ no difference, (but who am I to judge whether ‘change’ is actually happening!) but I’ve never felt more at home and at peace with where I am at in this stage of my life.  I am in it for the long haul!  Talk about being blessed to know God’s calling on your life!

So can I tell you again how much I love living in Dublin, and spending time with it’s amazing people?  God is too good to me and I feel most times I am being blessed more than He sent me here to bless others!

September 19, 2012

So it’s been a while since I’ve written. Simply been processing my life here in Dublin.  So much to reflect on and learn from.

I went on holiday to a place called Sligo where I was able to recharge from camp (because you are in every way exhausted, spiritually especially).  So I went to find fulfillment again, and God most definitely answered beyond measure using His most beautiful creation to remind me how beautiful He is.

I then had another week ‘off’ to continue to prepare my mind and heart for the year ahead.  So amid baking and a bit of tidying around the mission, I did just that.  Spent a lot of time with God asking Him to prepare me and the areas I will be in for this coming year.  During this time, I was able to read a book entitled “Just Walk with Me” by Jude Simpson.  If you get a chance and would like to learn in full what it is I do and who I work with, this book describes it to perfection.  It’s not a book about Dublin Christian Mission specifically, but describes an organization very similar that works with at risk youth and communities.  It’s not a ‘feel good’ book, but will paint a greater picture of the true need in inner city areas, and the value of what working with these people holds.

Oftentimes, working in these areas, things and people don’t ‘change’ for years; and a simple truth is that sometimes change is never seen by any single person, but that doesn’t make our presence here any less valuable.  A reason for this is simply that it is so engrained in culture and in families, they know nothing else.  So to change one generation, we are fighting generationS of habits and beliefs.  It’s easy to get discouraged because it’s not an instant ‘feel good’ mission trip where you give someone the essential gifts of clothes and food and see the smiles.  You try to give them the spiritual water to drink so they will never be thirsty again, and they laugh and mock and name call and do everything in their power to turn it around and make you cry.  It’s happened and it’s heartbreaking.  But THAT is why we are here-why I came.  I came for those moments where I have conversations with girls who ask about my strange life and how I live it.  They are curious about why I would quit my job and move to a foreign country for them.  Why would I do that?    Some of the girls would say they weren’t worth it.  —–

Why do I come to Ireland you ask?  They are worth it.  They need to learn they are worth it, because He said they are.

So I wait in expectation for this year and I may not see a change, but if I can make them believe one thing, they are worth my year in Ireland.

In saying so, I am still quite short on funding to remain here to minister to these young girls I have come to love.  If you would like to donate, please contact me at ashwebgirl@gmail.com or there is a donate button on the left side where you can securely donate online.  Thank you in advance for your generosity.

September 7, 2012

It’s funny, coming back from holiday always either changes your view on certain things, or just renews your original convictions before the craziness of life had a chance to skew your thoughts, or make you forget.

I did just this over the course of this past week and came home feeling like the most blessed girl alive.

I came to Ireland to spread His name and love.  Simple mission statement, but true.  I so oftentimes, though, feel like I’m missing the mark, or not doing enough, or not doing it well enough–Especially on this particular trip.

On my previous trips here, everything really fell into place and I had the support and encouragement of my entire circle back home. This trip, however, has been nothing but struggle after struggle.  I had not quite the encouragement from my circle this time around; my support is still very much lacking as I’ve raised only 2/3 of what I’d set out to raise at this point, my visa process is not going through as planned; among other various obstacles and feeling very inadequate and unworthy to be doing the work that needs to be done here in Dublin.

What God reminded me over this past week though–He is bigger.  He called me here, so I came, regardless of what anyone else may say or think.  I don’t have the funding entirely, but I’m trusting Him to provide.  My visa is still in Neverland within Immigration, but He knows exactly where it is.  And yes, I may mess up and do things that make me feel less than worthy to be here, but God will still use it.

God is in everything.  He chose me to be part of Dublin Christian Mission at this time.  He calls me holy so I can step forth in His name and proclaim His love because He gave me the power to do so.  He dearly loves me.  As long as I maintain the knowledge of this, I can face anything this year may bring. (Col 3:12)

I found Him again and His beauty over this past week and He whispered quietly throughout the week, “Be the best Ashley you can be because I created her, and I will take care of the rest.”

So my encouragement to you, go be you and stop living for the world!  And as long as you know you are doing what He planned for you, you will feel like the most blessed person alive as well. It’s awesome, trust me!

August 13, 2012

Camp 1 is complete for this year! The past week I had the opportunity to live with 55 other people on a campsite in Wicklow, and it was amazing, yet had its challenges.

Some highlights:

~I was blessed with the opportunity to lead the teen girls in ‘session’ (our Bible study time) during camp with two other leaders, and this resulted in deep, hard discussions and questions, but also life change to the extreme for ALL involved.  It got me excited for Heaven again, that’s for sure!

~God blessed me with the opportunity to create lasting friendships with MANY people, many of which I will be working with the entire year.

~God showed me areas that I still need to work on in my life, ie: patience and how to deal with conflict if it arises.

~I was able to see and feel His supernatural strength, especially as the week wore on. Campers and leaders alike grew more open to the work He was doing in our hearts.

~Realized as hard as sleeping on the ground in a tent is, I was genuinely sad when camp was over.

~Was very excited to know that after camp was over, it didn’t mean goodbye to the families. It hit me that I am actually here for a year!

PRAYER REQUESTS:

~For families and leaders alike to maintain an open heart to what we learned this past week and to not revert back to ‘normality.’

~For health and recuperation for all who were on camp.

~Personally, for wisdom and endurance for the year.

~Also continue to pray for my visa to be approved. I am still in the ‘hurry up and wait’ phase of the process.

~And finally for finances. I am doing well for this leg of the journey, but still in need of funding to keep me here for the year! I will need approximately $1500 more to be able to remain in Ireland for the full year! I am confident God will provide!

I can’t believe a month has already passed since leaving home. God is working and I am loving it.

• I left home nearly a week ago, and it’s been a whirlwind ever since!
• My flight from Charlotte to Chicago (my layover) did not apparently exist when arriving at the airport, so I was placed on another flight, thank goodness
• Flew for a long time
• Customs nearly said ‘no’ to me entering Ireland upon arrival, after traveling for 24 hours straight. (But thank you to Liesel who persuaded the grumpy immigration officer to allow me in!)
• Saw many many friends and was greeted like a superstar with their smiles and hugs.  Reminded me that home is where there is love, so I was fully able to say to myself, welcome home.
• Settled into my new flat, grocery shopped, and somewhat stocked my cupboards.
• Spent time with some dearly missed friends
• Went to camp for a day with Liesel yesterday (Tuesday).  It was the Jr Girls camp (7-9 years old) and the very first thing we heard when pulling up was a young girl running towards us screaming with excitement “GUESS WHAT!? JESUS IS IN MY HEART NOW!!!!”  Needless to say, the rest of the day was phenomenal.  Learned two other girls had accepted Jesus into their hearts that previous night as well, with many more saying they were ‘planning to do it tonight.’ AND was able to hear how one of my older girls who I’ve grown to love like a sister was able to help in leading them to Christ.  LIFE CHANGE EVERYWHERE.
• Gave some girls a preview of some Zumba I will be starting Tuesday, we laughed for a good 20 minutes straight afterwards.
• Woke up excited for the day this morning as I will be assisting in leading Drimnagh Family camp, so planning is on the agenda!
• Went to go blow dry my hair, and blew up my IRISH hairdryer.

God is good, and looking forward to the adventure!

February 21, 2012

I love that verse.  ’Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

And it’s amazing how much things seem to go astray when you forget to do so.  I haven’t blogged in a while, and the reasoning is simple, I just didn’t seem to have anything to say.

But here I am again with more words from a girl who dreams and watches in anticipation as those dreams unfold!

It’s March 1st, and a beautiful 75 Degree day here in NC with Carolina blue skies, wind chimes singing in the background and the sound of birds chirping their melodies.  I’ve set up a nice little picnic in my front yard, basket and everything! Today I am just delighting in the fact that God is here.  God is here and He has me here, so for right now it’s enough.  We find it hard sometimes to take a moment and forget worries and our to do lists and making sure we worked out for the day and cleaned this and that and finished the errands, that these moments where you can just sit outside and enjoy it are few and far between.

I came outside with the intention of working on my support letter for Ireland.  Yes for those of you who don’t know I am returning for a full year starting in July this time!  That’s one of those things on my to do list that I need to get done, but God is telling me to wait!  Just Enjoy me.  For now I am just delighting.  Delighting that I have a Jesus who loves it when I do!  And the best part is, you don’t even have to be in full on Bible reading, study time mode.  Half of what I do is just sit here and think of Jesus and smile.  I admit that my Bible isn’t even outside with me!  Just me and my Jesus.  So do what YOU do to make your Jesus time Special.  Read, pray, write, dance, sing, or lay there peacefully, I promise God loves all of the above if you’re doing it with Him.  And I’ll let ya in on a little secret…when you do take a time out for Him, everything else always has a way of working out.  I get it, you have a schedule to keep and an hour for Jesus time isn’t on it.  Watch Jesus laugh as He takes care of it for you.  Don’t believe me?  Try it…

December 6, 2011

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and praying.  It’s been nearly 3 months exactly since I left Ireland, and I still find myself homesick for that green land, the people, the way God grew and challenged me when I was over there.

I just had the pleasure of reading “Kisses from Katie” by Katie Davis (a highly recommended must read if mission work is even a spec on your radar).  She is a missionary who sacrificed her comfortable life in America to move to Uganda to adopt and raise 14 young girls, as well as run a ministry to try to feed the poor and hungry in her immediate area.  Over and over again, I kept thinking, she feels just like me.  Though Uganda has physical desperation and emptiness, Ireland struggles just as much with spiritual desperation and emptiness.  She was able to put into words what my heart has been feeling since Ireland entered into my life 3 short years ago.

In my own words, as they reflected hers, here is what I learned:

I am a changed person.  I’ve blogged about this a bit before, but now have a  new take on what it really means to me now.  To put it quite simply, I miss Jesus.

In Ireland, even though I was fairly provided for, I had to rely on Jesus for everything.  I had no family, He was my family.  I had no idea how the funds kept showing up in my account to feed myself, and possibly take a young girl out for a meal so she can ‘vent,’ yet He made sure the money was always there.  He provided me safety every night walking home in a scary area where I lived after a long day in the mission.  I’ve endured being made fun of, called names, excluded, alienated, taken advantage of and broken by the very ones I love so much, and He was always there to put my shattered heart back together so I would go back the next day and tell them again how much Jesus, and I, loves them.

He was my number one thought in my every day, because He had to be.  I couldn’t survive without Him, I wouldn’t have survived without Him.  Of course I had days when I wanted to give up, and very nearly did, but His grace and provision surpassed any kind of understanding, as He promises over and over in His beautiful Word.   In America, most of us, including myself, can survive without giving Jesus a second thought.  Think about it.  I’ve done it, have you?  I’ve gone through a whole day, just going through the motions, and never once looking heavenward to thank Him or say I love Him.  I hate myself for it at times, but if I were honest with myself, I’ve done that more than I care to admit.  As I’m maturing though, those days are becoming less and less.  Things are just easy here.  I have my mom and dad to talk to if something happens in my day.  I have my best friend to call if I need to vent.  I have a car to get me anywhere I may need to go.  I have medical care if I am injured, a grocery store and a debit card when we are hungry, a Walmart for any other need you may have.  So many things we  take for granted and forget that they are blessings.

I miss Jesus.

I’m not saying America is a bad place to live.  I feel very blessed to have been given the life I have here.  I am thankful for it, and am striving now to never again take it for granted.  But my heart misses Jesus, and I can’t seem to find it here the way I did when I was in Ireland, loving those who so desperately needed to hear those words.  My heart longs to be closer to His heart, and I’ve never felt closer to Him than when I gave up all my comforts and securities and trusted Him with my every need.

A life with Jesus is never easy, He promises that in His Word.  It is filled with pain and sorrow and heartache, as I experienced in Ireland.  But by the same token, if you don’t go through those tough times, how would you ever know what Joy truly is when you get to experience it?  And I’ve never known such Joy as when I was there.

So I am asking for prayer.   I am going back to Ireland.

October 30, 2011

When you close your eyes, what do you see?  What is it you dream about, can’t stop thinking about?  What is it you pray for?

Do you have a dream?  I would hope so.

I’d like to think we all do, every single one of us has something that we long for, whether its to travel to this wonderful location, get married to that perfect person some day, become a preacher, get that promotion.  Whatever it may be, it’s important, because its important to you.

God knows your dream…He should, He gave it to you.  Why, then, are we oftentimes so afraid to follow those dreams?  Is it fear, doubt, the unknown, the seeming impossibility of it?  Why do we look at it and say, well hey that would be awesome, but its just a dream.  This is reality.

What’s so great about ‘reality’, really?  We get up, face the hurt in the world, go to sleep and repeat pattern.  Our dreams give us hope.  For some of us, these dreams are ways to ease the hurt in the world.  I like to think that mine are slowly but surely aligning with God’s dreams.  Every day possibly one step closer to learning about and becoming more like my Creator.  My favourite verse of all time is Psalm 37:4–Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

The more you delight in Him, the more your dreams will become His dreams, and knowing God’s nature (however minute that knowledge is), He can’t help but respond to those dreams.  Listen to hurting hearts, care for the poor and needy, spread His Name and love to those that need to hear it, travel to unknown places and step outside your comfort to discover true freedom and happiness in Him.

Just of few of my recent dreams.

So keep dreaming–and praying.  God instilled that dream in your heart so keep discovering God, and He will respond in ways you can’t imagine.